Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 14 Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds (ABT’s)? I realize the name is stupid. I mean, who wants to eat a turd? Even one with the words buffalo and atomic in front of it. I didn’t create the name and right now, I don’t have a better one, so Atomic Buffalo Turd it is, otherwise known as the ABT. And if you’re a fan of blog posts where we show our mistakes, you are going to LOVE this one. That’s right, I capitalized, italicized, bolded and underlined that word. I chose an epic mistake for these Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds. So let’s get to it. Oh, if you want to see how far I’ve come with this recipe (and my photography), check out my first ABT recipe.

The typical ABT is a half a jalapeno boat stuffed with some cream cheese, a little smokey and wrapped in bacon. And those are really good. But I’m making Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds here. So let’s take the turding to the next level.

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds Ingredients:

1 lb ground pork
2 tsp jerk marinade
16 jalapeno peppers and baby bell peppers
8 oz cream cheese
2 tbsp brown sugar
1 lb of honey and maple bacon
32 toothpicks
4 wooden maple grilling planks

First off, go to your local butcher and ask for plain ground pork:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 01

You could use breakfast sausage or maple sausage, but I wanted to kick mine up to a whole new level and spiced the pork with jerk seasoning. Put the pork in a resealable plastic bag with the jerk marinade and work it through the meat. Put the bag in the fridge overnight.

The next day get your peppers ready. These are the glue of this whole appetizer:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 02

Some of you are looking at those jalapeno’s and are cringing. Those of you who are sensitive to overly spicy stuff usually don’t even try them despite someone saying, “Come on. They’re not that hot.” Because we all know that some peppers are hotter than others. That pepper in the front might be half as hot as the second pepper with the striations above. So here’s how to compensate for that. Don’t make all the atomic buffalo turds with jalapeno peppers. Pick up some of these mini bell peppers:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 03

For the chili heads, the jalapeno’s will work fine. For those that don’t like it spicy, the baby bells will be perfect.

Next up, let’s make some pepper boats. Slice the peppers lengthwise:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 05

Now whether you’re using bells or chilis, scoop out the white flesh and the seeds. This is particularly important for the jalapeno’s. The seeds and the white flesh are the hottest parts. If you like it really zippy, remove the seeds and leave the white stuff:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 06

Pepper boats ready for some stuffing:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 08

Brown the sausage in a skillet.

While the sausage is cooking, combine the brown sugar and cream cheese, mixing the two together thoroughly:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 09

When the sausage is browned, stuff each pepper boat with about 1/2 tsp of cream cheese and the same amount of sausage:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 10

Now it’s time to wrap these Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds in some epic bacon. I went with Honey and Maple bacon from Farmland:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 04

Slice the package in half. Wrap each pepper boat filled with cream cheese and jerk sausage with a half slice of bacon and skewer it in place with a toothpick:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 11

Repeat this 31 more times:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 12

When it’s time to grill these things, most people indirect them on a charcoal grill. Me, I’m going to smoke these on a gas grill. Say what? You heard me. I’m going to smoke them on a gas grill. I do this all the time by adding some grilling planks to the mix. Soak the planks in water for about an hour. Place them on a hot grill, in this case my Char-Broil TRU Infrared Grill2Go tailgating/portable grill:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 13

Close the lid for three minutes and then flip the plank over and add six-eight of the soon to be Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 14

Close the lid again. In a couple minutes, instant smoker:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 15

After about 10 minutes, the ABT’s are looking spectacular:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 16

Those ABT’s in the picture above are probably done, but I wanted the bacon to brown a little more and that’s where I got into trouble. About 5 minutes later, here’s what they looked like:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 18

But that was after I removed them from the blazing wooden plank:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 22

Dad was taking pictures of his shrimp wrapped keilbasa right next to me as we tailgated on my front lawn and snapped these pictures. And you read that right. It’s shrimp wrapped sausage, not sausage wrapped shrimp. I’ll link to it as soon as he gets me the write up. It’s only been since the first week of September.

You can still see one on that plank above. And when I got that last one off, I removed the plank from the grill:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 23

Cue Chariots of Fire theme song because after trying to blow the flames out and waving the plank up and down with my tongs to extinguish the fire, I still had a blaze so I bolted for the street:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 24

Yeah, that’s my hand being singed right there!

Here’s where I left it:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 25

And a close up:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 17

But the ABT’s looked and tasted fantastic:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 19

When all was said and done, I had no leftover Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds, but I did have this:

Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds - 21

The lesson here is to pull these things when the bacon is golden brown, not when it reaches dark brown like from a skillet full of bacon fat. Waiting until it’s dark brown will result in a hot, flaming mess.

But how were they? They were much more nuanced than typical ABT’s. There was the sweet and the savory from the brown sugar and cream cheese; the savory and spicy from the jerk pork; the sweet, savory and salty of the bacon all inside a pepper boat that may or may not have been spicy. And the smoke of from the plank permeated them through and through. They were in a word, “wonderful.” But I guess I should say epic!

I highly recommend this recipe, just go with a slightly different method. Don’t set the place on fire!

5.0 from 1 reviews
Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds (ABT's)
Author: 
Recipe type: Appetizer
Cuisine: BBQ
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
 
Taking the iconic Atomic Buffalo Turd to the next level with jerk pork, outstanding bacon, brown sugar, maple planks and by not using jalapeno peppers.
Ingredients
  • 1 lb ground pork
  • 2 tsp jerk marinade
  • 16 jalapeno peppers and baby bell peppers
  • 8 oz cream cheese
  • 2 tbsp brown sugar
  • 1 lb of honey and maple bacon
  • 32 toothpicks
  • 4 wooden maple grilling planks
Instructions
  1. Place the ground pork in a bag with the jerk marinade and work the jerk through
  2. Put the bag in the fridge for 2-12 hours
  3. Slice the peppers in half, spooning out the white flesh and seeds forming pepper boats
  4. Brown the pork in a skillet
  5. Combine the cream cheese and brown sugar in a bowl
  6. Once the pork has cooled, spoon about ½ tsp of cream cheese into a pepper boat, add ½ tsp of jerk pork
  7. Slice the pound of bacon in half and wrap the pepper boat with a half slice of bacon and skewer with a toothpick to hold in place
  8. Repeat 31 more times
  9. Place the wooden planks in water for at least 60 minutes
  10. Set the grill to medium high
  11. Place a plank on the grill and close the lid for 3 minutes
  12. Flip the plank over and add 6-8 Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds
  13. Close the lid
  14. When the bacon is golden brown, remove from the heat and serve
 

 

Scott Thomas

Scott Thomas

Scott Thomas, the Original Grillin’ Fool, was sent off to college with a suitcase and a grill where he overcooked, undercooked and burned every piece of meat he could find. After thousands of failures, and quite a few successes, nearly two decades later he started a website to show step by step, picture by picture, foolproof instructions on how to make great things out of doors so that others don’t have to repeat the mistakes he’s made on the grill.
Scott Thomas

@GrillinFool

https://t.co/lVWgniik3V - #GrillPorn abounds here. All meat, all the time!
Oh my wow! There is so much perfection right there! 😲✔️👍😎 . Video shot by the insanely talented @carlaocarvalho77 …… https://t.co/uKHWyunSxp - 7 months ago
Scott Thomas

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8 comments

Im not sure about the name, but the actual product sounds terrific (minus the fiery plank)!

Reply

Elizabeth,

That’s the Char-Broil Grill2Go. I love that little grill so much, I own two of them…

…….Scott

After eating these at your Schnucks’ class this summer I had to make them. It was just the wife and I but I still made 2 jalapenos and 2 red baby bells. We devoured them. They were so good. Not much room for the rest of dinner after this very large appetizer.
The plank was very “juicy” after the bombs were done. It will cause flare ups.
Another word to the wise. The cream cheese is molten hot coming off the grill (I will never learn).

Thanks again for the recipes.

Reply

Kevin,

Glad they came out well. Oh, we’re doing another class at Dierberg’s in very early September if you and Laura want to attend…

…….Scott

Should I be concerned that you remembered me and my wife?
Were we that big of a distraction?

I see you were scheduled at Dierbergs the end of Aug and it looks like you were bumped for a Corporate event. They don’t have the Sept schedule out yet, but we will make plans to join you….
And we will try to behave.

Kevin

Reply

Very cool. I’m a big ABT (popper) fan. I’ve been looking for new ways to make them and your version here sounds great. Since I am a charcoal person I’ll try them indirect. Cool site too. Great job :)

Reply

Scott, I want to try the ABT’s. I live in Ohio and am trying to locate the maple planks. I can find cedar planks out the ying-yang but no maple. Can you give me a source? Thanks

Reply

Greg,

Check http://www.OutdoorGourmet.com and look for the bulk deals. They have some sick discounts on the not so pretty planks. Who needs a pretty one when I’m just going to blacken the hell out of it?

…….Scott

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