Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds (ABT’s)? I realize the name is stupid. I mean, who wants to eat a turd? Even one with the words buffalo and atomic in front of it. I didn’t create the name and right now, I don’t have a better one, so Atomic Buffalo Turd it is, otherwise known as the ABT. And if you’re a fan of blog posts where we show our mistakes, you are going to LOVE this one. That’s right, I capitalized, italicized, bolded and underlined that word. I chose an epic mistake for these Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds. So let’s get to it. Oh, if you want to see how far I’ve come with this recipe (and my photography), check out my first ABT recipe.
The typical ABT is a half a jalapeno boat stuffed with some cream cheese, a little smokey and wrapped in bacon. And those are really good. But I’m making Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds here. So let’s take the turding to the next level.
Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds Ingredients:
1 lb ground pork
2 tsp jerk marinade
16 jalapeno peppers and baby bell peppers
8 oz cream cheese
2 tbsp brown sugar
1 lb of honey and maple bacon
4 wooden maple grilling planks
First off, go to your local butcher and ask for plain ground pork:
You could use breakfast sausage or maple sausage, but I wanted to kick mine up to a whole new level and spiced the pork with jerk seasoning. Put the pork in a resealable plastic bag with the jerk marinade and work it through the meat. Put the bag in the fridge overnight.
The next day get your peppers ready. These are the glue of this whole appetizer:
Some of you are looking at those jalapeno’s and are cringing. Those of you who are sensitive to overly spicy stuff usually don’t even try them despite someone saying, “Come on. They’re not that hot.” Because we all know that some peppers are hotter than others. That pepper in the front might be half as hot as the second pepper with the striations above. So here’s how to compensate for that. Don’t make all the atomic buffalo turds with jalapeno peppers. Pick up some of these mini bell peppers:
For the chili heads, the jalapeno’s will work fine. For those that don’t like it spicy, the baby bells will be perfect.
Next up, let’s make some pepper boats. Slice the peppers lengthwise:
Now whether you’re using bells or chilis, scoop out the white flesh and the seeds. This is particularly important for the jalapeno’s. The seeds and the white flesh are the hottest parts. If you like it really zippy, remove the seeds and leave the white stuff:
Pepper boats ready for some stuffing:
Brown the sausage in a skillet.
While the sausage is cooking, combine the brown sugar and cream cheese, mixing the two together thoroughly:
When the sausage is browned, stuff each pepper boat with about 1/2 tsp of cream cheese and the same amount of sausage:
Now it’s time to wrap these Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds in some epic bacon. I went with Honey and Maple bacon from Farmland:
Slice the package in half. Wrap each pepper boat filled with cream cheese and jerk sausage with a half slice of bacon and skewer it in place with a toothpick:
Repeat this 31 more times:
When it’s time to grill these things, most people indirect them on a charcoal grill. Me, I’m going to smoke these on a gas grill. Say what? You heard me. I’m going to smoke them on a gas grill. I do this all the time by adding some grilling planks to the mix. Soak the planks in water for about an hour. Place them on a hot grill, in this case my Char-Broil TRU Infrared Grill2Go tailgating/portable grill:
Close the lid for three minutes and then flip the plank over and add six-eight of the soon to be Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds:
Close the lid again. In a couple minutes, instant smoker:
After about 10 minutes, the ABT’s are looking spectacular:
Those ABT’s in the picture above are probably done, but I wanted the bacon to brown a little more and that’s where I got into trouble. About 5 minutes later, here’s what they looked like:
But that was after I removed them from the blazing wooden plank:
Dad was taking pictures of his shrimp wrapped keilbasa right next to me as we tailgated on my front lawn and snapped these pictures. And you read that right. It’s shrimp wrapped sausage, not sausage wrapped shrimp. I’ll link to it as soon as he gets me the write up. It’s only been since the first week of September.
You can still see one on that plank above. And when I got that last one off, I removed the plank from the grill:
Cue Chariots of Fire theme song because after trying to blow the flames out and waving the plank up and down with my tongs to extinguish the fire, I still had a blaze so I bolted for the street:
Yeah, that’s my hand being singed right there!
Here’s where I left it:
And a close up:
But the ABT’s looked and tasted fantastic:
When all was said and done, I had no leftover Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds, but I did have this:
The lesson here is to pull these things when the bacon is golden brown, not when it reaches dark brown like from a skillet full of bacon fat. Waiting until it’s dark brown will result in a hot, flaming mess.
But how were they? They were much more nuanced than typical ABT’s. There was the sweet and the savory from the brown sugar and cream cheese; the savory and spicy from the jerk pork; the sweet, savory and salty of the bacon all inside a pepper boat that may or may not have been spicy. And the smoke of from the plank permeated them through and through. They were in a word, “wonderful.” But I guess I should say epic!
I highly recommend this recipe, just go with a slightly different method. Don’t set the place on fire!
- 1 lb ground pork
- 2 tsp jerk marinade
- 16 jalapeno peppers and baby bell peppers
- 8 oz cream cheese
- 2 tbsp brown sugar
- 1 lb of honey and maple bacon
- 32 toothpicks
- 4 wooden maple grilling planks
- Place the ground pork in a bag with the jerk marinade and work the jerk through
- Put the bag in the fridge for 2–12 hours
- Slice the peppers in half, spooning out the white flesh and seeds forming pepper boats
- Brown the pork in a skillet
- Combine the cream cheese and brown sugar in a bowl
- Once the pork has cooled, spoon about ½ tsp of cream cheese into a pepper boat, add ½ tsp of jerk pork
- Slice the pound of bacon in half and wrap the pepper boat with a half slice of bacon and skewer with a toothpick to hold in place
- Repeat 31 more times
- Place the wooden planks in water for at least 60 minutes
- Set the grill to medium high
- Place a plank on the grill and close the lid for 3 minutes
- Flip the plank over and add 6–8 Epic Atomic Buffalo Turds
- Close the lid
- When the bacon is golden brown, remove from the heat and serve