By accessing this site, YOU irrevocably and unilaterally agree to the following terms and conditions:
1. These Terms are governed by the State of Illinois, and YOU agree that the sole jurisdiction for any dispute that arises between YOU and Grillin’ Fools, including any dispute related to the Terms, rests in a court of competent jurisdiction in the State of Illinois where Grillin’ Fools could be sued as a defendant pursuant to Illinois Rules of Civil Procedure. Grillin’ Fools may, at its sole discretion, elect at any time to seek binding arbitration within a 100 mile radius of the St. Louis metropolitan area for any such dispute. YOU agree to consent to a stay in any court proceeding in lieu of such arbitration. YOU further agree to dismiss any such court proceeding upon resolution of any arbitration proceeding. YOU agree that Grillin’ Fools may select the unbiased third party arbitrator without regard to input from YOU.
2. YOU agree that any comments YOU post are subject to moderation, including deletion. YOU agree not to post any offensive, defamatory, or otherwise inappropriate material or links, to be determined solely by Grillin’ Fools or its agents. If YOU violate this provision of the Terms, YOU recognize and agree that YOUR IP address may be banned from commenting and/or accessing the Site.
3. YOU agree that Grillin’ Fools reserves the right to make changes at its sole discretion at any time to any portion of these Terms, without notice to YOU of such changes.
4. In the event any portion of these Terms is deemed unenforceable by a court of competent jurisdiction or a duly-appointed arbitrator or arbitration panel, the remaining provisions of this agreement will remain in effect.
5. YOU agree that Grillin’ Fools is not liable for any injuries that YOU may suffer as a result of preparing and/or consuming any recipe or technique shown on the Site. In fact, YOU agree to assume complete and total liability to any Third Party for such injuries that they may suffer if YOU serve such food to a Third Party. If YOU engage in unsafe cooking practices, YOU are to blame. If YOU don’t use a meat thermometer, YOU are responsible for that foolishness. If YOU eat raw food and get sick, then YOU are both responsible and idiotic. If a Third Party suffers any injury from any food that YOU prepare, then YOU are liable. YOU expressly agree to indemnify and hold harmless Grillin’ Fools for any such injury. If Grillin’ Fools suggests or recommends a beer on the Site, and YOU consume ten of said beers over a short period of time and then drive YOUR El Camino through a farmers’ market and into a phone pole, YOU are liable. No one is forcing YOU to make this tasty food, and YOU assume full responsibility for YOUR actions.
6. If YOU send a medical bill to Grillin’ Fools for reimbursement, YOU expressly grant Grillin’ Fools a royalty-free, sub-licensable, universal, perpetual, worldwide license to post and redistribute that medical bill, including any and all personal information. YOU also understand that substantial ridicule of YOU for sending such a thing to Grillin’ Fools is inevitable, as YOU already released Grillin’ Fools from any and all liability for any injuries YOU suffer as a result of cooking and/or eating any recipe on the Site. Such ridicule may not be limited to the Site.
7. Grillin’ Fools is not responsible for and does not warrant the goods or services advertised or promoted on the Site. YOU agree to hold Grillin’ Fools harmless for any injuries and/or damages suffered as a result of using any such product.
8. If YOU find anything on this Site offensive, please leave immediately. Grillin’ Fools can’t understand why YOU would find anything here offensive, but perhaps the sight of grilled animal flesh is both offensive and traumatic to YOU. If that’s the case, please leave. We simply don’t want to hear about YOUR neurosis. If YOU believe that animals have human feelings and emotions and thus should not be a part of the Food Chain, Grillin’ Fools encourages YOU to board the next hypersonic rocket to the Sun.
9. YOU agree that Grillin’ Fools is not responsible for the content on any URL link on the Site that leaves the Site.
10. YOU agree that Grillin’ Fools is not responsible for any damage to YOUR computer hardware or software that results from your visit to the Site. We don’t employ 419 scammers or Russian hackers, but if they or some other scumbag attack YOU through the Site, that’s your problem.
11. Grillin’ Fools has a generous copyright policy that aims to promote the non-commercial sharing of certain content. YOU agree to be minimally-versed in copyright law and fair use (pursuant to 17 USC 101, et seq.) before making any copy of any content on the Site.
12. Grillin’ Fools grants a free, perpetual, worldwide license to copy any original written content on the Site for non-commercial purposes, with the caveat that YOU agree to (1) credit the respective author of the content, (2) provide notice of any copying to email@example.com, and (3) provide a back link to the Site if possible.
13. Grillin’ Fools grants a free, perpetual, worldwide license to copy any original photograph that does not contain a person content on the Site for non-commercial purposes, with the caveat that YOU agree to (1) credit the respective author of the content, (2) provide notice of any copying to firstname.lastname@example.org, and (3) provide a back link to the Site if possible.
14. Grillin’ Fools retains all copyright to any original photograph that contains a person. People and, particularly, children appear on this site from time to time, and this section aims to protect them. YOU expressly agree to this provision.
15. YOU grant Grillin’ Fools a universal, unlimited, royalty-free, perpetual, sub-licensable license to any comment YOU make on the Site, or to any submission YOU make to the Site, including through email submission. YOU further agree that this license does not require attribution to YOU. This grant is in addition to the comment moderation provision YOU agreed to previously herein.
16. If YOU violate any portion of this Copyright Policy, YOU agree that typical common law damages are inadequate to fully compensate Grillin’ Fools for the infringement, and agree to compensate Grillin’ Fools in the amount of $1,000 per copy that violates this Copyright Policy. YOU also agree not to get cute and deliver said $1,000 (or more) in pennies; YOU will pay via bank-drawn cashier’s check.
17. Grillin’ Fools, as a staunch believer in copyright, does not knowingly infringe the copyrights of others. Nonetheless, if YOU are a copyright owner or agent thereof and believe that any content on the Site infringes on YOUR copyright, please provide the necessary notice pursuant to the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (“DMCA”) to:
217 Pierce Blvd
O’Fallon, IL 62269
18. YOU expressly agree that any frivolous or non-meritorious DMCA notices will almost certainly be ridiculed on the Site, so YOU agree to proceed with caution before abusing the legal system.